What is Validation? And Why is it Important?
Ever feel like you just want someone to nod and say, “Yep, you’re doing great”? That’s validation in a nutshell! It’s the feeling we get when our thoughts, feelings, and experiences are recognized and acknowledged by others. Validation is like a high-five for your emotions. It tells you, "You're not crazy, you're human!"
We all seek validation in different ways. Maybe it’s your friend complimenting your new haircut, your boss giving you a thumbs-up for your project, or just having someone listen to your struggles without trying to fix them. It’s not about bragging or seeking attention; it’s about being seen and understood.
So, what is validation? It’s when our thoughts, feelings, and actions are recognized and affirmed by others. It’s like getting a pat on the back for your emotional journey.
Now, why is validation so important? Glad you asked!
It Builds Confidence: When someone validates your feelings or achievements, it boosts your sense of self-worth. It's like saying, “Hey, you’re doing this right!” It’s that extra dose of confidence we all need to keep moving forward, whether we’re crushing goals or just trying to survive a Monday.
It Creates Connection: Validation helps us feel understood and supported. When someone listens to your thoughts and acknowledges them, it creates a bond. It’s like giving each other an “I get you!”—which is pretty much what we all crave in relationships, right?
It’s a Confidence-Builder for Your Inner Voice: Validation doesn’t always need to come from someone else. You can be your own cheerleader! Saying things like, “You did your best, and that’s enough!” or “That was a great effort!” to yourself can work wonders for your mental health and self-esteem. Self-validation is like giving yourself a warm hug on a tough day.
It Helps You Feel Seen: Ever have a moment where you feel like you’re talking into the void? Validation helps break that feeling of invisibility. When your feelings or experiences are validated, it tells you: “Hey, you’re not alone in this.” That’s powerful stuff.
Now, Let’s Talk About YOU: How to Validate Yourself (Because You Deserve It!)
Validating ourselfs and our emotions, is equally important than validating others. When we validate ourselves, we are giving ourselves permission to feel how we feel. So whether are are validting our achievements or our emotions, it helps to boost our sense of self-worth, self-esteem and overall our relationship with ourselves! So how can you validate yourself? Here are some suggestions:
Recognize Your Own Wins
It’s easy to brush off our own achievements, but why? You just made it through another busy day—that’s a win! “Look at you, getting stuff done like a pro. Not everyone can juggle work, life, and still have time for a snack break. Well done, self!” A little self-praise goes a long way!Affirm Your Feelings (They Matter)
Sometimes we get caught up in thinking our emotions don’t “count” or compare them with someone who has it worse and dismiss our emotions. Whether you're feeling overwhelmed or thrilled, those feelings are valid. “Hey, it’s okay to feel this way. Your feelings are real, and you don’t need to apologize for them.” Be your own emotional support system!Give Yourself a High Five
Did you take a risk today, even if it didn’t turn out perfect? That’s still something to be proud of! “You tried, and that’s brave. It’s okay that it didn’t go exactly as planned. You’ll learn from it, and I believe in you!” High-five yourself mentally (or physically, if you’re into that kind of thing).Talk to Yourself Like a Friend
Imagine a friend came to you, stressed out about a mistake they made or a missed opportunity. What would you say to them? Would you be harsh? Probably not. So why be harsh on yourself? “Okay, that didn’t go as expected, but you’ve been through worse and came out stronger. You’ve got this.” Treat yourself with the same kindness you’d offer others.
Validation isn’t just about making others feel good—it’s a way of connecting, showing care, and reinforcing that we're all in this together. When you validate someone, you’re telling them, “Hey, I see you. I appreciate you. You matter.” And when you validate yourself, you're building your own foundation of self-respect and confidence.
So next time you see someone crush it, or feel like you deserve a pat on the back (because you do!), remember: validation isn’t just nice—it’s necessary. And whether you’re handing it out or receiving it, you’ve got the power to make the world a little warmer and a lot more awesome, one kind word at a time. 🌟
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Written by: Ivonne Hammoud MSW, RSW
Ivonne is the owner, and clinical therapist at New Moon Counselling. She is passionate about supporting her clients through whatever challenges come their way. Ivonne brings an enthusiastic, inovative and down to earth approach to her therapy. She works primarily with adults and couples. Not currently accepting new clients.