Depressive Feelings: A Strengths-Based Approach
I spent all of this summer telling everyone around me how incredibly excited I was for fall. I was thinking about the colours, the warmth of the sun on a chilly morning, all wrapped around with scary movies and apple picking. It wasn’t until I woke up on the first October weekend, and was reminded what makes fall so difficult; the darkness of a rainy day, just a glimpse into the perpetual gray of winter to come.
Managing symptoms of depression and low mood is likely something we will all do at some point in our lifetime. Whether it is grieving a loss, facing a difficult transition or the fatigue of a darker season, we will all have the days where getting out of bed is the hardest challenge of them all. This post will primarily focus on depressive symptoms, or this experience of low mood, and is not here to diagnose any formal conditions. That said, Mood Disorders are quite common, with Major Depressive Disorder being the most common for Mood Disorders in Canada. If you or a loved one are experiencing persistent low mood and additional symptoms of depression, please ensure to talk to your doctor for support.
The biggest question I get from clients experiencing low mood is, “what do I do, when doing anything feels impossible?” The answer is not simple, or even really an answer- but I like to begin with “what did you do when things didn’t feel impossible?”
A strengths-based approach to depressive symptoms begins with considering what made us, us in the first place. When we reflect on our shining moments in the dullest of times, we may consider what we did to be creative, what we did to care for ourselves, what we did that brought us wonder and joy. This is not to say, pull up your bootstraps and paint a mural; but to say how can we begin to reintegrate these feelings back into our daily lives.
My favourite resource for working with depressive feelings is “Overcoming Depression” by Lawerence E. Shapiro, as I feel it considers the complexities of depression while giving activities and ideas for things to try out. With this book in mind, these are my 3 entry points to managing low mood, by focusing on our strengths:
Notice your inner thought spiral and stop it in its tracks. Easier said than done, but let’s give it a try. My thought process here is thinking about the double whammy of low mood; we first feel low, then our thoughts keep us there. This can look like the self-blame spiral we go on, that tells us we are incapable of anything, or the mental gymnastics of knowing what we should do, and being mad at ourselves for not getting started. So let's flip the narrative; if our low mood is entering our space, let’s offer ourselves some compassionate thoughts. “When I am feeling this way, it really takes a lot of my energy, so I deserve a break today”, or “It’s okay to feel this way, and have a less productive day”, or even something as simple as “I feel this way today, and that says nothing about tomorrow!” Think about having these statements readily available, like on a sticky note next to your bed. Anything to remember we are not our thoughts, but we can be what we say back to them.
Find 15 to 30 minutes a day for something you love. Creativity is my favourite way to step away from difficult thoughts, because it is a good distraction that feels rejuvenating. Whether it’s an art activity, playing an instrument, your favourite video game or baking cookies, it can feel really nice to take some time out of your day to do something you love. These are the activities I feel we lose first when entering a depressive episode, so being proactive about including them in your routine ensures some dedicated time to let your mind take a break. It doesn’t have to be extravagant! Even watching a comfort movie or show is a great way to break the pattern of feeling low.
Treat even the “little things” as accomplishments. On an average day, we may not think that getting up and opening the blinds is in any way deserving of celebration. When experiencing low mood though, any act that works against a negative thought is a true accomplishment of resilience and determination, and deserves a pat on the back. If all you do in a day is get up, change your clothes, eat a meal or start a load of laundry, you have done one thing that day to manage your situation. Let’s expand our views on what a good day looks like, to allow them to appear more frequently!
Managing low mood and depressive symptoms is certainly not an easy feat. I would always encourage you to stay connected to those who add warmth into your life, and consider reaching out to a psychotherapist if you would like to speak to someone about your experiences. Book a free virtual consultation at New Moon Counselling to find someone you connect with!
Wishing you beautiful sunny fall days, and cozy rainy days over the next few months. We can do it one day at a time!
- Bethany
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Written by: Bethany Hanman RP(Q)
Bethany is a registered psychotherapist, and has completed a BA in Psychology at the University of Waterloo, a Post-Graduate Certificate in Addictions and Mental Health at Humber College and a MA in Psychotherapy at Wilfrid Laurier University. Bethany works with teens (16+) and adults support them through anxiety, depression, self-esteem, addiction and relationship conflict. She is currently accepting new clients!