The Dos and Don’ts of Suggesting Therapy to a Loved One
So, you’ve noticed that your loved one has been feeling a bit off lately—maybe they’re more grumpy thank usual, or withdrawing more, and you’re thinking it might be time to suggest therapy. But wait! Before you attempt to don your therapist hat and dive in, let’s explore the dos and don’ts of this delicate conversation. After all, we want to help, not accidentally send them running for the hills!
DO: Choose the Right Moment. Timing is everything! Bring up the idea of therapy when they’re relaxed and in a good mood—like during a cozy coffee date or a chill get-together. Avoid suggesting it during a heated argument or when they’re knee-deep in a Netflix drama. Trust us, “You should see a therapist” is not the best line to drop during a cliffhanger! Jokes aside, suggesting therapy during a heated arguments makes it seem like therapy is a punishment, and it won’t be received well regardless of how you meant it.
DON’T: Use the “T” Word Like a Bomb. Imagine casually dropping the word “therapy” like it’s a grenade. Not cool! Instead of saying, “You need therapy,” try something softer, like, “I’ve heard therapy can be really helpful for people going through tough times.” This way, you’re not throwing them into a panic; you’re gently nudging them toward the idea in a supportive and caring manner.
DO: Share Your Own Experiences. If you’ve been to therapy yourself, share your story! Talk about how it helped you, like how you learned to set boundaries and validate your emotions. This makes the idea of therapy feel more relatable and less intimidating.
DON’T: Play the Blame Game. Avoid phrases like, “If you went to therapy, you wouldn’t be so moody.” Yikes! That’s a one-way ticket to the “I’m never talking to you again” zone. Instead, focus on how therapy can be a tool for anyone, even the happiest of happy campers. Everyone can benefit from a little extra support now and then!
DO: Offer to Help. Be the supportive sidekick they didn’t know they needed! Offer to help them find a therapist or even go with them to the first appointment if they’re feeling nervous. Just don’t show up with a giant foam finger that says, “#1 Therapy Fan.” Subtlety is key!
DON’T: Make It a Big Deal. Don’t turn the suggestion into a grand event, like a surprise party for their mental health. Keep it casual! A simple, “Hey, have you thought about talking to someone? It might be helpful,” is all you need. No confetti cannons required!
DO: Be Patient. After you’ve made your suggestion, give them time to process it. They might need a little while to warm up to the idea. Just like a cat deciding whether to jump on your lap, they’ll come around when they’re ready.
DON’T: Pressure Them. If they’re not ready to take the plunge, don’t push! Everyone has their own timeline. Instead, let them know you’re there for them, no matter what. You can be their cheerleader without the pom-poms!
Suggesting therapy to a loved one can feel like walking a tightrope, but with a little humor and a lot of love, you can navigate the conversation with grace. Remember, it’s all about being supportive and understanding. So go ahead, sprinkle in some kindness, and who knows? You might just help them take that first step toward feeling better!
If you enjoyed this blog post, you will love our Podcast episode where Bethany and I, talk about how to suggest therapy to a loved one. Available wherever you get your Podcasts!
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Written by: Ivonne Hammoud MSW, RSW
Ivonne is the owner, and clinical therapist at New Moon Counselling. She is passionate about supporting her clients through whatever challenges come their way. Ivonne bring an enthusiastic, inovative and down to earth approach to her therapy. She works primarily with adults and couples. Not currently accepting new clients.