Understanding Trauma, Dissociation, and How EMDR Can Help
Many people who come to therapy seeking help for anxiety, depression, relationship issues, or chronic overwhelm are surprised to learn that what they’re experiencing is connected to trauma — and often, dissociation. These aren’t just clinical terms. They describe very human ways of surviving and adapting to experiences that overwhelmed us, especially when we were too young to make sense of them.
Let’s talk about what trauma and dissociation are, and how EMDR therapy can help.
What Is Trauma?
Trauma isn’t only about what happened to us — it’s about what happened inside us as a result. Trauma is any experience that was too much, too fast, too soon, or not enough for too long. It can result from single-incident events like car accidents or assaults, but also from ongoing, chronic experiences like emotional neglect, attachment wounds, racism, or childhood unpredictability.
When we don’t get the support we need to process these experiences, our nervous systems adapt. We become hypervigilant, anxious, shut down, avoidant, or easily overwhelmed. Sometimes, we stop feeling connected to ourselves or the world around us. That’s where dissociation comes in.
What Is Dissociation?
Dissociation is a way our brains and bodies protect us from overwhelming emotional pain or danger. It’s not always dramatic or obvious. For many people, it feels like:
Zoning out or losing time
Feeling spacey, numb, or far away
Disconnection from your body or emotion
Going through the motions of life without feeling present
Feeling like you’re watching yourself from the outside
These are not signs that something is “wrong” with you. They’re signs that something happened to you, and your system did its best to protect you.
Some people experience chronic dissociation — sometimes called depersonalization, derealization, or structural dissociation — especially when trauma occurred early in life or was ongoing. It’s common in people who are highly functional on the outside but feel a deep sense of disconnection on the inside.
EMDR Therapy: A Gentle and Powerful Approach
EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) is a structured, evidence-based therapy designed to help people process and heal from traumatic memories and the lingering symptoms of trauma.
EMDR doesn’t require you to retell every detail of your trauma. Instead, it helps your brain reprocess traumatic memories in a way that reduces emotional intensity, calms your nervous system, and reconnects you with parts of yourself that may have felt frozen or stuck.
For people who experience dissociation, EMDR must be done carefully and with attunement. That’s why I take a phased approach to EMDR:
PHASE 1: Stabilization and Resourcing
Before we touch any trauma content, we build safety. This includes helping you:
Understand your nervous system
Learn grounding and self-regulation skills
Identify and strengthen internal resources or supportive “parts” of self
Develop a strong working relationship with your therapist
This phase can take time, especially when dissociation has been a long-standing coping strategy. But it’s essential for making the deeper work safe and effective.
PHASE 2: Trauma Processing with EMDR
Once your system feels ready, we use bilateral stimulation (typically eye movements or tapping) to help the brain process stuck memories, beliefs, and body sensations. This isn’t about reliving trauma — it’s about helping your brain do what it couldn’t do at the time: fully process the experience and let it go.
PHASE 3: Intigration
After processing, we support your system in integrating the new learning, beliefs, and sense of self that emerge. Many people report feeling more grounded, more whole, and more present in their lives.
A Note on Dissociation and Readiness
Not everyone is ready to do trauma processing right away — and that’s okay. Therapy isn’t a race. For clients with significant dissociation or early attachment wounds, we may spend more time in stabilization, parts work, and building a compassionate internal system before any EMDR reprocessing happens. This is therapy — and it’s incredibly valuable.
Final Thoughts
If you’ve lived with a sense of disconnect, emotional numbing, or confusion about why you “can’t just move on,” know this: your symptoms make sense. They are adaptive, protective responses to experiences that overwhelmed your system. And they can change — with the right support, safety, and therapeutic approach.
You don’t have to do this alone. Healing is possible.
Interested in booking a consultation to see if EMDR is right for you? Click here to book a free virtual consultation with Sarah!
Written by: Sarah Moore MSW, RSW
Sarah is a trauma therapist at New Moon Counselling specializing in EMDR, complex trauma, and dissociation. She offers individual therapy and EMDR intensives to clients across Ontario (virtual) and in-person in Waterloo. Sarah is passionate about helping people feel safer in their bodies and reconnect with their whole selves.