I Don’t Know What I Want To Do Yet– and That’s Okay
There’s a Lot of Pressure to “Figure It Out”
It’s easy to look around and think that everybody has a clear plan for their future except for you– especially when teachers, parents, friends, and neighbours start asking what you “want to be” or what your plans are after high school.
Teens face a lot of pressure to know themselves and are often asked to make big decisions about their futures while they’re still getting to know who they are and what matters to them.
Family expectations, social media comparisons, and pressures to fit into a certain identity can make it feel like you're supposed to have an answer already. But figuring out yourself doesn’t happen on a deadline.
You Don’t Have to Have Everything Figured Out
Not knowing parts of yourself or what you want your future to look like isn’t evidence you’re behind.
Sometimes “I don’t know yet” is a completely valid answer.
You may have an idea of what you want next year. You may change your mind. You might try something and realize it isn’t what you thought and isn’t for you. All of these experiences can be a part of figuring out what matters to you..
Getting to Know Yourself Is a Relationship Too: Curiosity Instead of Pressure
Picture this: you meet a new friend. Do you expect to know everything about them right away? What makes them laugh? What matters to them?
What makes them feel most themselves?
Usually we learn about somebody over time.
Getting to know yourself can work the same way. Maybe the relationship with yourself deserves that same curiosity and patience.
You may want to start by:
Noticing what energizes you
Paying attention to what matters to you
Getting curious about your emotions– what makes anxious, overwhelmed, comfortable, excited?
Exploring your boundaries– what feels okay and what doesn't?
Noticing where you feel most like yourself– who are you with? What are you doing? What parts of yourself and your personality come out?
You’re Allowed to Change
Knowing yourself doesn't mean discovering one permanent version of whoyou are.
It’s normal for what you want after high school to change. It’s even normal to even change your mind while you’re already in college, university, training, or a jon you once really wanted.
Changing direction can mean you’re growing and continuing to learn what matters to you.
You’re Allowed to:
Change mind of what want to do– even after committing to something you once really wanted
Outgrow friendships, interests, or hobbies
Discover new things that matter to you
Become more confident in parts of self while questioning others
Try something and decide it isn’t for you
Take a different path than the people around you
Change doesn’t mean the person you were before wasn’t really you. There can be multiple authentic versions of you throughout your life.
Getting to know yourself is an ongoing relationship shaped by new experiences, learning, people you meet, opportunities you take, and moments you give yourself permission to discover.
You don't need to have yourself figured out. You just need permission to keep getting to learn yourself.
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Written by: Anika Driedger BSW, MSW Intern
Anika is currently completing her masters of social work, and is accepting new clients. She works primarily with children and teens, while she also has experience working with young adults.